She bad-mouths her sons girlfriend or spouse. These forums are designed as safe spaces where parents can ask questions and get helpful feedback without fear of judgment or criticism. Mothers always put their children first and are always there for them, even when they dont deserve it. Make sure you listen to what he has to say and take the time to really understand where hes coming from. Mothers who do not get enough attention from their partners, have trouble finding fulfillment in their work, or struggle with depression are more likely to hurt their adult child in this way. They may be mean people, full stop. Even in these situations, though, the child still treats the parent deferentially and the parent continues to think of the child in his appropriate role. However, there are some points that mothers need to keep in mind so that they do not make their sons resent them later on. Poorly Seasoned Cast Iron - How to Tell and Fix. I have three pieces of. A mother-son relationship is one of the most important relationships a man can have. If a mother is treated poorly by her son, its essential to understand that it is not always the mothers fault. Make sure you show him how much you believe in him and what he can do, and dont forget to give him compliments when he succeeds at something. Its important for mothers to have their own independent source of self-worth and not put such a burden on their sons. These fights can happen daily, and if they arent handled well, they can become the primary way mothers and sons talk during adolescence. The son may feel like he cant live up to his mothers expectations or that he must take care of her emotionally. As such, Ive approached this topic sincerely and am happy to share with you what Ive learned about this paradoxical issue. Mothers who micro-manage their children make them feel like they can t function without Mom. eval(ez_write_tag([[120,600],'ciprofamily_com-box-4','ezslot_13',197,'0','0']));eval(ez_write_tag([[120,600],'ciprofamily_com-box-4','ezslot_14',197,'0','1']));.box-4-multi-197{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:15px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:15px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:600px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}This article will explore the reasons why some sons treat their mothers poorly and offer advice on how to break the cycle. She might even tell you what classes to take in school or if you should get married or have children. First, try to avoid criticism. Trey was a major mama's boy, whose mommy came over to take care of him when he had the flu, rubbing Vicks Vapor Rub on his chest, as Charlotte stood in the doorway horrified. 3. This problem is especially prevalent among African American and Hispanic families. A sons relationship with his mother not only helps the son form his very own identity but also influences how he interacts with others, including other women, later on in life. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-netboard-1','ezslot_20',114,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-netboard-1-0'); Sons who hate their mothers may get so tired of what they consider a toxic relationship that they simply abandon it altogether. Everyone needs to recognize that this does not mean that a son does not love his mother. Control is the issue at the heart of this conflict. Heres common reasons why. If hes into something like woodworking or knitting, be supportive by helping him find resources for learning more about it, or even just encouraging him to pursue his passion. Finally, if the issue persists and nothing seems to be changing, dont be afraid to ask for professional help. But mothers shouldnt expect an immediate change in their sons behavior after sending the letter. Controlling Mothers May Alienate Their Sons, Sons Who Hate Their Mothers Tend to Have Difficult Adult Relationships, If Boundaries Are Disrespected, Things Will Escalate, Sons Who Hate Their Mothers May Simply Cut Off Contact, Mental Illness and Personality Disorders Can Shatter Relationships, Wrapping Up What to Know about Sons Who Hate Their Mothers, link to My Son Is Homeless (Facing Difficult Choices), link to When Your Mother Makes Up Stories (Explained With Tips). The hateful son might feel like his mother is attacking him, or he might feel like shes always putting him down. The son ends up resenting this behavior and his mother. Spouse Substitute. It can often be challenging, but with these tips, you can create a healthy mother-son relationship. Its important to understand the reasons behind this behavior so that we can address it effectively. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-leader-1','ezslot_10',109,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-leader-1-0'); The relationship between a mother and son is extremely important to a males upbringing, just as the father-son relationship is. You can also get psychological or medical advice from professionals who can help you recover from this harmful behavior! Please love your mother too. Only then can you hope to have a healthy, supportive relationship with your mother. For example, issues such as in-laws, marriage, and even divorce were common reasons a son would find estrangement necessary. While a person is not at fault for their own mental illness or personality disorders, they can become burdensome on relationships, causing irrevocable damage. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-sky-3','ezslot_24',116,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-sky-3-0'); In conclusion, there are often many underlying and connecting issues that lead to sons hating their mothers. The son also needs to do his part by ensuring he keeps healthy boundaries with his mother and maintains a balance between his mother and spouse. It is also important to keep in mind that being a grown-up requires a great deal of responsibility, and it takes time to develop the skills required for adulthood. Parenting means taking care of your child, making decisions for your childs well-being, and raising your child to be a good, moral person. The people youre son (and anyone) chooses to hang around with have a huge impact on their lives, its something to take very seriously. Whatever the reason, its also important to remember that the relationship between mother and son is very complex. . Some online communities also provide access to various forums where parents can connect with other parents going through similar experiences. He talks badly about his mother and/or all women. 20 Fun & Memorable Christmas Activities For Kids, How To Deal With Entitled Stepchildren: 9 Ways To Harmonize With Your New Family, How To Motivate A Teenager Who Doesnt Care: 14 Ways To Re-invigorate Your Child. When a son mistreats his mother, it can be hard to know how to respond. Many factors contribute to this strained relationship, and mothers should not take it upon themselves to shoulder all the blame. Sons Who Treat Their Mothers Poorly. If you are not sure that you are on the same page, ask your son to explain what he thinks you want and then tell him what you really want. Some personality disorders can cause a person to have a warped perspective on themselves and others. For this reason, divorce should not be taken lightly (and I argue, if at all) because it leads to the breakdown of the family unit, which can lead to the breakdown of parent-child relationships, too.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-portrait-1','ezslot_22',600,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-portrait-1-0'); Sons with mental illness or personality disorders can become difficult to live with, especially for their parents. The son feels like hes not good enough for his mother. Their mothers are over-involved in their lives. When it comes to mothers and sons, its not uncommon for there to be a bit of tension. She may try to manipulate him by saying things like,I know whats best for you,orYou need to do this because I said so.This type of mother-son relationship can be unhealthy for both parties involved because it can lead to resentment and anger on the sons part. A 15-year-old boy brings home his school report. Related Heres how to set boundaries for your in-laws. If you must give criticism, do so constructively and without belittling your son. In addition, the study showed that divorce also affects a sons outlook towards his parents and mother, specifically. 5 Signs God Is Trying to Remove Someone from Your Life! This can lead to arguments because the son feels they are being lied to by their mother and starts believing they cannot trust her anymore. She is a former public school teacher of 18 years, licensed in 3 states and certified to teach elementary, secondary English, and English Language Learners. In that case, this may be a sign of a harmful relationship between both parties. He may have trouble forming healthy romantic relationships or maintaining friendships. Of course, he understands that she is just trying to show him a better way forward but this becomes irritating at times. They may also resent her for not leaving the abuser when they had the chance. It is possible for a man who hates his mother to still find happy relationships as an adult, but there will be a disordered component, too. How did a loving mother-son relationship become hateful? If you think this is the reason your son is treating you badly, its important to take a step back and reassess how you interact with your son, and make sure youre not smothering him or overstepping boundaries. You can also suggest professional counseling if needed, as this may be the best route for him to take. If they've never owned their bad behavior, then it's never going to stop. Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-leader-3','ezslot_14',154,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-leader-3-0'); One of the main reasons a son will hate his controlling mother is because of the guilt she constantly makes him feel. Sometimes it is the child's spouse who demands distancing from family. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Common Reasons Why Sons Treat Their Mothers Poorly, Tips for Creating a Healthy Mother-Son Relationship, Dont Be Afraid to Ask for Professional Help. Its important to talk to him about his past experiences and help him process them in a healthy way. It could also give you some insight into whats going on in his life, which can help you be more supportive of him as he grows up. Disrespecting boundaries may start at a young age and continue through adulthood. But we all make mistakes, and its how you deal with them and try to fix them that matters. Your son is not the only one who has ever done thisand he wont be the last. Some sons have personality issues that cause them to mistreat their mothers. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_12',603,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); Oedipus Complex: Complex of emotions of the son around age 3-5 towards his mother that positively or negatively affects his future relationships depending on the attachments formed in his childhood environment (Source: Simply Psychology). Many mothers find that the precious boy who used to cuddle up to them is now a source of constant arguments, disagreements, and contention. There are few things more frustrating as a parent than being disrespected or treated poorly by one or more of our children. Sons who treat their mothers poorly aren't just hurting themselves. https://aleteia.org/2018/12/09/the-impact-of-controlling-mothers-on-their-sons/, https://www.bustle.com/p/9-signs-your-mom-is-too-controlling-how-to-deal-with-it-36863, https://onlinelibrary-wiley-com.ezaccess.libraries.psu.edu/doi/epdf/10.1111/j.1475-6811.1995.tb00076.x, http://standalone.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/HiddenVoices.FinalReport.pdf, https://search-proquest-com.ezaccess.libraries.psu.edu/docview/614509632/fulltextPDF/DD39F752A24D4257PQ/1?accountid=13158, https://www.livescience.com/8156-boys-close-relationship-mom.html. Little Ninja Parenting is supported by participation in affiliate programs. She might demand that you live at home until youre 30 or tell you who to date and how to dress. Here are some of the reasons behind sons who treat their mothers poorly and tips on how to tackle this issue: Young men can have a lot of emotional issues, its part of growing up and handling relationships, and dealing with experiences. Its crucial to be patient with your son and not hold grudges, no matter how difficult hes being and how hes treating you. These sons (and mothers) have varying backgrounds and cultures, and come from all walks of life. A bossy mother will often want to know where her son is at all times, what hes doing, and who hes spending time with. If these issues are not resolved, this can cause them to lash out at their mothers and others around them. This site does not constitute psychological or medical advice, please consult licensed psychological or medical professionals in your area for psychological or medical advice. This can lead to many fights and arguments between the two, which will only worsen things. They may feel like they are not good enough or that they do not deserve their mothers love. The son may feel like his mom doesnt understand or care about him. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. They may disrespect their mothers because they divorced their father. Dr.Timothy Legg says that if youre not willing to sacrifice the relationship, then you must modify your behavior in relation to the behavior of the person with NPD. And to do this successfully usually requires regular and consistent therapy involving all stakeholders, if possible: the son, the mother, and the father. 2. Parenting by definition isnt overbearing or controlling. Interactions with your mom can be a . (Source: Healthline). What does it mean when We are Mathew Booe and Jackie Booe. Why are some sons so mean to their mothers? Disclaimer regarding normal parent-child roles: There is the exception of the changing child-parent relationship when the parent is aging and the child takes on a care-giver identity akin to parenting. The hatred between a son and his mother develops over time when boundaries continue to be disrespected. Here are a few tips for dealing with sons who treat their mothers poorly. This can often lead to increased bad behavior, such as lying or stealing money from his parents wallets. Heres how to set boundaries for your in-laws, depositphotos.com/stock-photo-parents-talking-son-bench-park, Why Does God Remove Someone from Your Life? Related Has your son never had a girlfriend? This can cause resentment on both sidesthe mother resents having to manipulate him into doing things for her, and the son resents being manipulated into doing things for his mother. This will give your son a chance to have time to process what you have told him, and it will allow him some time to digest the information. 1. No one deserves to be treated poorly, no matter the circumstances. Your son may want to emulate your behavior, so its important to be an example of healthy relationships by being kind, calm, and patient. When Your Mother Makes Up Stories (Explained With Tips). Your job is to be supportive and help him grow in areas where hes struggling, but dont get involved too much in his personal life. This is a complex situation of factors ranging from neglectful parenting to early childhood attachment problems to mental illness. This kind of behavior can hurt the sons mental health and affect his life as an adult. However, if the mother favors one child over another or treats them differently, then this may indicate an unwell relationship between the two. If she just calls you up to talk about how youre doing in school or your plans for the weekend, it might seem like she only cares about making sure youre happy and healthy. Whatever the cause, the loss can be heartbreaking. There is a difference between the concerned mother giving advice out of love and the judgmental, pushy, and intrusive mother who just wants to tell her son what to do. Its important to set healthy boundaries when it comes to parent-child relationships. Peterson attributes the mothers fear of losing her son as a reason for her controlling behavior to manifest itself-to avoid or try to avoid her son leaving her. This is a severe issue that should be dealt with immediately. Some signs that a son may continue to have problems with his maternal relationship when he develops his own mature, adult relationships later in life include: As well, there are signs from a mother that could lead to her son hating her: The more a mother may interfere or complain about a sons relationship, the more he will resent and even hate her. What constitutes a negative relationship with one's mother is a fairly broad set of possibilities, and some negative relationships are . 6. Another way to communicate effectively is to make sure that you are on the same page with your son. This can be clearly seen in the actions of males in particular. In this article, well talk about some of the most common problems that arise in mother-son relationships, as well as some ways you can help your family stay healthy and strong. Its important to talk to them and provide guidance, but not in a way that is too forceful or overbearing. Dysfunctional mother-son relationships can be challenging to overcome, but with the right support and guidance, they can become healthy and loving again. Or perhaps she has nurtured him to her greatest ability. The mother makes the son feel guilty for doing things without her. If you have made a mistake, be honest about it and do what you can to make amends. Step 1. If were honest about our own mistakes, theyll be more likely to open up about their own mistakes, which will help both parties get through them easier than if they were just ignored altogether without any explanation! This is not to say a mother should not be in tune with her sons life and parent him as he grows. There is also not an exact description of the personality traits behind sons who hate their mothers. If possible, schedule the meeting in the evening or on a weekend. Again, this will lead to resentment, negatively affecting their relationship. You can find it in a million memes, It's reiterated in personal essays from women who say their worst relationships were with men who yelled at their moms . The result can be a deep feeling of inadequacy and insecurity. Here are some tell-tale signs that your mother-son relationship may need some attention: Controlling mothers are very common in todays world. When this happens, children tend to distance themselves from their parents because they no longer feel loved or respected by them. Mother-son relationships can be complicated, and the specifics of a dysfunctional one vary widely. A son who has a destructive relationship with his mother will likely have an unhealthy relationship with others. If you see any of these signs in your own relationship with your mother, its important to address them so that you can have a healthy and happy relationship. The mother-son relationship is complex and often influenced by media depictions of what it means to be a man. This is the conundrum. A son will not simply begin hating his mother overnight. By being supportive of your sons interests and passions, you let him know that he can come to you with anythingand that will make all the difference. An overly controlling mother is also someone who wants to have the final say in how her son lives his life. (If youd like more on Jordan Peterson and his perspective on lifes issues, his latest book, Beyond Order: 12 More Rules for Life is now available at Amazon.) This type of behavior can be extremely harmful to the son, as it can lead to him feeling suffocated and unable to live his life the way he wants to. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-leader-4','ezslot_15',155,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-leader-4-0');The Attachment Theory is about how childhood attachment affects adult relationships. There should be a special bond between a mother and a son, in some cultures, it is revered and celebrated. In these situations, the son may be left feeling confused and angry. For example, if your son has been watching a lot of shows that featurebad boys(like Luke Cage or Breaking Bad), he may be more likely to act out in ways that are not healthy for his relationship with you. You dont have to agree with everything he does and say yes when he asks for something, but you must trust him enough to give him the space he needs to find his way and make mistakes along the way. Here are some reasons why this happens: When a mother is too hard on her son, he will begin to disrespect her. One of the most important things you can do to create a healthy relationship with your son is to let him make his own decisions. This can lead to sons taking their mothers for granted and forgetting to show them appreciation. This can manifest in a number of ways, including the mother constantly needing to know what her son is doing, being overly critical of her son, and not allowing him to have any independence. This final act of estrangement is a characteristic of sons who hate their mothers. But if you notice that she never has anything interesting to say when she calls, that could signify that shes missing something in her life besides being your mom. Mothers who are controlling usually have high expectations for their children. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-mobile-leaderboard-2','ezslot_17',156,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-mobile-leaderboard-2-0'); If a son already has animosity towards his mother from childhood, this will worsen in adulthood. The mother is overbearing and controlling. When Your Grown Child Makes Bad Decisions | Guide for Parents. We can spend all day listing everything our mothers do for us and how much they mean to us. A son may feel that his mother doesnt acknowledge him as a grown-up if she constantly refers to him as my child.. Here are some signs that the son in question feels like he can never please his mother: 3 The mother is critical and constantly finds fault with her son. Its important to remember that youre not alone in this. Its normal for adult sons to have conflicts with their mothers. When the relationship is unhealthy, it can be difficult for mom and son to move forward in their lives. For the most part, the first thing Ive learned about sons who hate their mothers is that there is not a one-size-fits-all reason behind it. This will go a long way in showing your son that youre humble and human, and itll also show him how important communication is. A son may feel like his mother doesnt trust him and that she thinks hes incompetent. It may be that the husband/dad is not living with the family anymore or has died. There are a few things to keep in mind when trying to communicate effectively with your son. This leads to resentment from the son. Mothers and sons can have a very special relationship, but what happens when that loving bond turns to loathing? If your son struggles to make friends or has problems in his romantic relationships, it might be because of how his mother has treated him. Sons Who Treat Their Mothers Poorly - YouTube 0:00 / 1:10 Sons Who Treat Their Mothers Poorly 433 views Feb 24, 2021 To see more info on this and many other parenting related topics .more. Shannon is a mother of two boys and one girl. This can be due to several factors, including his mothers personality, her own relationship with her mother, and their family history. It's normal for adult sons to have conflicts with their mothers. Well look at these below.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_7',151,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-large-leaderboard-2-0'); Are you having trouble with your children? A mother who crosses boundaries will inevitably have a son who will grow up to cut off contact with her. He needs to make mistakes and learn from them, which he cant do if youre constantly scolding him or telling him what to do. They feel theyve been pushed aside and want to make it known that theyre still important in their mothers life. She's hoping her experience with parenting and everything in between can help other moms navigate the complex world of motherhood. 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